Tuesday, July 26, 2011

McDonald's Caves In To Critics: Happy Now?

Fast food chain changes 'Happy Meal' Contents Under Pressure

By A. Scott Walton
Thanks to years of harsh cajoling by some of America's leading dietary experts, there will be far fewer McDonald's french fries parents can swipe from their kids'Happy Meals.
McDonald's announced Tuesday that it will quickly begin reducing the salt, sugar and fat content of its Happy Meals in response to pressure from health advocates who argue that they contribute to childhood obesity.
You go, nutritionists!
No, really: scram before you spoil any more of our fun!
Sad news for those of us who relish scavenging the remnants of those little cardboard boxes: McDonald's pledge to reduce the size of its Happy Meal french fry portions (from 2.4 ounces to 1.1) in every one of its 14,000 U.S. stores by early 2012.
In reaction to research showing that only 11 percent of parents "request" apple slices as an alternative to fries, all Happy Meals will include them henceforth. A range of other drink options and marketing ploys will be a part of the Golden Arches' new initiative.
Whoop-dee-do!
What's next? A new-and-improved McRib sandwich made (health-consciously, of course) out of tofu?

Monday, July 18, 2011

Study: Fewer Kids Injured with Grandparents Driving

RESEARCH SHOWS SENIOR CITIZENS DRIVE SAFER

BY A. SCOTT WALTON
Quick: Hide “the internet”!
Shhhh. Don’t let Grandma see.
Just when you thought it was safe to start suggesting that the significant senior(s) in your life put away the car keys, here comes some expert spouting off about the fact kids emerge from car crashes with fewer scrapes when their grandparents are driving than when they’re in wrecks with their parents.
The news is spreading like free samples of Fixodent on the web.
Note to self: Seek and destroy Paw-Paws Twitter account. ASAP.
According to a study led by Dr. Fred Henretig of Philadelphia’s Childrens’s Hospital, kids are one-third less likely to be hurt in a crash involving grandparents at the wheel, as compared to crashes where their parents were driving.
Can’t you just hear the ‘I told you so’ coming?

After crunching numbers compiled by insurers in 15 states and Washington, D.C. over a five-year period (2003-’07) researches concluded that seniors may have difficulties navigating between Points A and B and strapping car seats in properly, but they were only to blame for seven percent of the collisions that caused injury to passengers aged 16-and-under.
The number of grandparents who are living “independently” longer and/or serving as primary care-givers for their grandchildren makes the car safety survey more relevant than ever. It’s no long a laughing matter refer to the elderly as “Sunday” drivers. They’re out their merging into traffic with us 24/7 these days.
Everybody, buckle up.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Imagine A World Without Charter Schools?

WEALTHY SUBURBS PREFER PUBLIC FUNDING OVER PERSONAL INSTRUCTION

By A. Scott Walton

Antagonists against charter schools are idiots.
Why, because opposition to any form of enhanced education in America – which we all know lags in performance – is idiotic.
A recent New York Times report spells out how parents in suburban communities are resisting the creep of charter school ethos into their affluent school systems because they’re performing well enough as is.
C’mon people: these are teaching techniques, not zombie invasions. Shouldn’t you be more concerned with spending by the military industrial complex, the penal system or the “War on Drugs”?
What’s wrong, really, with targeting the main lessons kids receive according to their parents’ preferences, as long as other families are free to take advantage of mainstream public school teaching if they so choose?
Charter schools exist to provide an alternative; not to drain municipal coffers as their detractors suggest. They personalize the education process to a greater degree than mainstream do, and they put administrators, teachers, parents and students to more stringent tests.
Trust me: I’m living “the experiment”, so I’m familiar with its challenges and rewards.
Even though there’s a public elementary school a half-mile away from this household – where the kids do wear uniforms, and do receive language instruction in Spanish, and do have the benefit of those high-tech plasma screens to view – we chose the charter route.


It’s a few miles drive away threw heavy traffic. It enforces parent participation so strictly that everyone knows who’s worthy of censure for not pitching in. It enrolls students from far-flung districts and unfortunate household circumstances.
There are two other established charter elementary schools within walking distance of this blog’s headquarters. The new one we chose and lobbied strongly to gain entrance to - inconveniences and growing pains be-damned – just happens to be the only K-through-8 school we know of that happens to teach Mandarin Chinese.
That, according to the Times’ article, is a sticking point for the lead protestor against Mandarin-oriented schools seeking approval in a rich New Jersey enclave. His argument is that public school funds will be ‘siphoned’ off for a select few if the charters gain a foothold.
But in a world where specialization of all types grows increasingly crucial, what’s wrong with steering America’s kids toward skills where they can excel?

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Jessica Alba 'Psyched' About Giving Birth

Exotic Pin-up/Actress Endorses Hypnosis During Labor

By A. Scott Walton
Apparently, the alluring Jessica Alba doesn't give a flip about the public's perception of her second pregnancy.
Alba and her husband, Cash Warren, are expecting the birth of a sibling for their two-year-daughter, Honor. And the screen siren has spoken openly about how her current pregnancy makes her crave "cheeseburgers, watermelon and pickles".
At some points, she's appeared irked by stalking paparazzi who've followed every phase of her gestation. At others, she's basked in the red carpet attention.
And she's had no qualms about appearing on resort beaches wearing bikinis that put her baby bump on full display.
Most recently, Alba revealed to Us Weekly that she's newly committed to the "hypnobirthing" technique; otherwise known as the Mongan Method.
According to HypnoBirthing.com, the technique dates back centuries and eases the anxiety, pain and fear associated with childbirth.
"What (birth mothers) experience is similar to the daydreaming, or focusing, that occurs when you are engrossed in a book or a movie or staring into a fire," the web site insists.
As Alba enthused to Us Weekly: "It just makes you chill."
"I was freaked out going into my first time going into labor," Alba added. "Like what if I panick? What if I just freak out and I don't know what to do?"
Alba's birth-process revelation was quickly followed in the tabloids by news that former Spice Girl-turned-fashion icon, Victoria Beckham, has already scheduled an Independence Day C-Section procedure in Los Angeles for the birth of her fourth child with soccer star, David Beckham.
This raises a question for expectant mothers worldwide: Is it better to go under the knife, under hypnosis or go au naturale when it comes to giving birth?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tears of 'Oy!' as Collegians Come Home

Parents Brace for Loads of Laundry, Attitude and Drama

By A. Scott Walton

Attention: all parents waking up to the harsh realization that the party's over now that your collegiate offspring are returning home for the summer (or longer). You are not alone.
Just when you were accustomed to the quiet, the new hobbies or getting your sexy back, here they come. And, according to a new Washington Post report, your kids' neediness and proclivity to childish antics, messiness and outbursts may not have been cured by their months away at college.
It's an ordeal that requires a serious "reality check" according to the parenting consultant/author, Karen Levin Coburn, quoted in the piece.
There are new boundaries to set. And new priorities to establish.
The key to peaceful co-existence while the kids are home from college, Coburn suggests, is realizing how a secure sense of place is what many scholars on summer break truly seek.
“They expect their parents to be totally supportive of their changes — maybe the kid who used to only eat burgers has gone vegan, or cut off all her hair. But they really don’t want their parents to change at all,” she said. “They want things to be just as they were when they left.”
So maybe they're not ingrates invading their empty-nest space after all.
Maybe they just need a hug.

Grandparents Crossing "Digital Divide" To Stay in Touch

Social Media Make Distance in Age and Location Non-Factors

By A. Scott Walton

Did you know there’s actually a Hall of Fame for the "Best Advertising Slogans of All Time"?
Well, it’s true.
And a recent Wall Street Journal report on novel ways grandparents are using to re-connect with their off-springs’ children indicates that AT & T would be smart to revive its “Reach Out and Touch Someone” campaign from 1979.
The story – cleverly headlined, “OMG! My Grandparents R My BFF!" – spins uplifting tales of how the disconnect many grandparents have felt since their kids moved away and started their own families is increasingly being soothed by such applications as Facebook, Twitter, Skype and unlimited text-messaging services.
Retirees are sharing photos and videos of their “Golden Years” activities, and “gathering” for holidays with their grand kids in cyber-space. Teenagers are Tweeting to their grandparents about classroom concerns and growing pangs; bypassing mom and dad in the process.
Some suggest that the current fascination with high-tech devices and networks has made human interaction more fragmented and impersonal.
But what’s the harm in discovering and optimizing the most convenient and inexpensive means available to reach out and show you care?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

DEAR, BOTOX MOM. JUST PUCKER UP AND BLOW!

TV viewers sound the alarm after witnessing injections

By a. Scott Walton
Here’s your reward, "Kerry Campbell", for being such a pathetic parent that you would inject a child’s lips with Botox to help her win beauty contests, and then have the gall to rationalize why you did it on national TV.
You win a quick trip to child custody court if you ever want to see your precious daughter "Britney" any time soon.
Thanks to mounting public outcry after the Campbell’s appeared on ABC’s “Good Morning America”, and the mom exposed how and why she performs lip-plumping on her 8-year-old, San Francisco’s Human Services Agency reportedly stepped in to rescue the child from further potential harm.
Major questions loom before mother and child are re-united. Reportedly, the Campbells may have actually appeared on “GMA” under assumed names. And the actual location of where they live is under investigation.
Regardless of how this tabloid tale plays out, it should aptly be referred to as “Beauty and the Beast”.